Tough Stuff

I have had a lot on my mind since Jim deployed.  One big one that we have been praying over is having more children.  I remember the one week check up after having Margo saying to Jim, "we are ready for more!" Now there are ups and downs to parenting but we want more kids - we've talked about having four!  So we've been "trying" the past three years and started having testing this summer.  Everything has come back normal and we are praising God for that, but we are hurting.  It is something that is in the back of our minds and now that the deployment has come it's put a definite hold on getting pregnant.  So, I say all of this to say that while I know all families go through difficult situations, I am more amazed than ever at our military families.  I have been able to share our struggle with a few military spouses and there are several that confided in me about miscarriages or difficulty in having children.  There are lots of military related issues that families go through - and add in "normal" tough stuff that all families have happen and my heart breaks for the struggle that can come from multiple deployments plus the tough stuff.  The one consolation that I have is a faithful God who I can depend on to see me through this.  The day that I found out we were not going to be pregnant for the deployment was the day that my devotions had me read Isaiah 54.  I also read Isaiah 56 which says that the foreigner who has bound himself to the Lord will not be excluded from His people, so while I was thinking of this Isaiah 54 passage as being between Israel and God - we are grafted into the promises God gives.  God is teaching me so much through this desert experience, and I just wanted to share the tough stuff that was on my heart.

Isaiah 54
“Sing, barren woman,
    you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
    you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
    than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.
² “Enlarge the place of your tent,
    stretch your tent curtains wide,
    do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
    strengthen your stakes.
³ For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
    your descendants will dispossess nations
    and settle in their desolate cities.

⁴ “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame.
    Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated.
You will forget the shame of your youth
    and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.
⁵ For your Maker is your husband—
    the Lord Almighty is his name—
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;
    he is called the God of all the earth.
⁶ The Lord will call you back
    as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—
a wife who married young,
    only to be rejected,” says your God.
⁷ “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
    but with deep compassion I will bring you back.
⁸ In a surge of anger
    I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting kindness
    I will have compassion on you,”
    says the Lord your Redeemer.

⁹ “To me this is like the days of Noah,
    when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth.
So now I have sworn not to be angry with you,
    never to rebuke you again.
¹⁰ Though the mountains be shaken
    and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
    nor my covenant of peace be removed,”
    says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

¹¹ “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
    I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise,
    your foundations with lapis lazuli.
¹² I will make your battlements of rubies,
    your gates of sparkling jewels,
    and all your walls of precious stones.
¹³ All your children will be taught by the Lord,
    and great will be their peace.
¹⁴ In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
    you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
    it will not come near you.
¹⁵ If anyone does attack you, it will not be my doing;
    whoever attacks you will surrender to you.

¹⁶ “See, it is I who created the blacksmith
    who fans the coals into flame
    and forges a weapon fit for its work.
And it is I who have created the destroyer to wreak havoc;
¹⁷     no weapon forged against you will prevail,
    and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,
    and this is their vindication from me,”
declares the Lord.